FRIGHTENINGLY BAD HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

That magical day is finally upon us -- IT'S HALLOWEEN! Scary children roam the streets looking for fattening treats . . . even MORE SO TODAY! It used to be ghouls, ghosts and goblins, but nowadays it seems that most of the costumes out there are horribly unfunny novelty costumes. Let's take a look at some!

KUNG FU LOU


What the hell is this supposed to be? A fat guy doing karate? I don't get it. FUNG YOU! Let's move on.

ROYAL FLUSH


Ugh. Didn't I click on the "humorous" section? Because that's not the least bit funny. Unless this guy actually gets pissed on.

FART-O-METER


Great. You can wear something that is going to make guys fart in your face all night. That could backfire on you--LITERALLY.

SPANISH FLAMINGO DRESS


The costume itself is okay, but it's a "flamingo" [sic] dress under the "Oriental and Ethnic Costumes" category. That's wrong on several levels.

FRANKENBERRY


Frank, you look FAAAAAAAABULOUS! Couldn't you just DIE? I mean, can you BE more pink? I just want to cover you in milk and eat you!

MAGNUM P.I.


If you're a private investigator, wouldn't explicitly stating that on your hat blow your cover? Not a wise move, Magnum.

THE GOVERNOR MASK


There are caricatures, and then there's this. Why does it look like his face is about to explode? Is this from the scene from Total Recall where he's struggling to breathe in Mars' atmosphere? And I don't know what Governor this is supposed to be, but it sure doesn't look like George Pataki.

DR. SEYMOUR BUSH, GYNECOLOGIST


Wait a minute, I've got plenty of lab coats, I could EASILY throw this outfit together in no time! Of course, none of them say "Seymour Bush" on them. But how can I convince women that I'm a gynecologist? I know: I'll wear it AFTER Halloween, that way they'll never suspect a thing!

PROM NIGHTMARE


"Ohhhhh SHIT! I KNEW we shouldn't have tried opening that bottle of merlot in the limo. Baby, I'm sorry about that. Do we have enough time to go back home and change? We could only afford to rent the limo for 45 minutes? I'm so sorry. Stop crying, I bet no one will even notice!" (I guess I can forget about getting to second base tonight. Man, what a prom nightmare.)

HOLY SHIT


Oh man, that's stupid. Never mind, check out these classic 70s costumes instead!

HONG KONG PHOOEY


Now we're talking! HONG KONG PHOOEY, #1 SUPER GUY! HONG KONG PHOOEY, QUICKER THAN THE HUMAN EYE!

WELCOME BACK, KOTTER


Were kids dressing up as Gabe Kaplan? That's sad.

H.R. PUFNSTUF


Forget drugs, kids! This costume is a WALKING ACID TRIP!

Crappy Halloween everyone!

AND CHECK OUT RETROCRUSH'S COLLECTION OF CLASSIC COSTUMES!

PS3 COMMERCIAL: NIGHTMARE FUEL!

This ad for the SONY PlayStation 3 aired last night.



That is just plain creepy. What is wrong with advertising agencies? It seems as though it's not about the product anymore, it's about getting a reaction from people. Who cares if they're frightened? Why bother giving any relevent information about the product? All you need to know is that the PS3 is coming soon!

Now, the old 80s ATARI commercials were fantastic:



There was never a bigger disappointment than the ATARI 2600 attempt at PAC-MAN. Hoo boy. Okay, never mind, that was horrid. Bring on the creepy babies!

FRIDAY THE 13TH TIMEKILLER: HORROR MOVIES

This is a thread I started on Friday the 13th to try to come up with some new horror movie ideas.
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THE GRUNGE. The ghosts of Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, and Mother Love Bone singer Andrew Wood haunt record executives, killing them off one by one for making millions and millions of dollars at their expense, and simultaneously destroying the Seattle music scene in the 90s. Soundtrack by former Soundgarden guitarist Kim Thayil (whom I think is sitll alive). (JK)

THE TEXAS LONGHORNS MASSACRE. By now you would think the students at Rice University would know Not To Go In There, but they do, and as usual are slaughtered by the UT football team, 63–0. (RV)

THE EXERCISE. After spending decades eating nothing but heavily processed fast foods, an ordinary man decides to take up jogging. Little does he know that his heart is possessed by an evil demon, and every step he takes COULD KILL HIM! (jk)

ARBOR DAY. Someone is killing children when they are in a place that there parents can't protect them: the treehouse. (rv)

GREMLINS. In the 1970s, the American Motor Company unleashes on an unsuspecting public the most hideous vehicle ever designed by man, so shocking it sends other motorists screaming! Even more frightening is that they seem to be everywhere, multipling at an alarming rate as if they are being mass produced in some evil factory. Scarier than gas rationing and President Jimmy Carter combined! The disco soundtrack alone will leave you shuddering with terror! (Available on K-Tel 8-Track tapes and long playing vinyl records.) (jk)

SWAMP BLING. A popular rap star buys a mansion in the Florida Everglades previously owned by one of his musical rivals who mysteriously went missing while jogging one night. However, after throwing a party one night he comes face to face with a creature from the swamp . . . and he's sorting an even bigger diamond than him! (kw/jk)

A NIGHTMARE FOR HUSTON STREET. The Oakland A's relief pitcher can't wake up from a terrifying dream: he keeps giving up the walk-off home run to Magglio Ordonez in Game 4 of the ALCS that ends his team's season and sends the Detroit Tigers to the World Series. (kw/jk)