Rob actually started this with the statement, "I was watching the OXYGEN network the other day . . . " as an example, so I sent it around and got some pretty damn funny responses:
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"Man, I can't get enough of those 'reality TV' shows." (jk)
"Now that I have a big HDTV with a DVR, I think I could live without it." (kw)
"Chicks dig me because I'm a great dancer." (kw)
"I'm on a health kick." (kw)
"Nah, I think I'll just have a Corona with grenadine syrup in it." (jk)
"I was listening to NASCAR on the radio the other day . . . " (Or any sentence with "NASCAR" in it.) (jk)
"Chicks dig me." (jk)
"Getting a psychic reading would be an excellent way to spend time and money!" (rv)
"Can anyone recommend a charity to donate to?" (tb)
"I'm tired of eating steak." (tb)
"I do." (tb)
"I knew I should have bought a HUMMER." (jk)
"I'm tired of constantly shooting under par." (jk)
"I have so much money, I don't know what to do with it." (ks)
"Do you want fries with that?" (I hope) (ks)
"Great idea, Mr President!" (rv)
"I’d like a years subscription to the NY Post." (rv)
"My customer focus could use some improvement." (rv)
"Fill up, 93 octane." (rv)
"I’d love to spot you on the bench press." (rv)
"I'm moving to France because of the job opportunities there." (kw)
"Put Elmo On." (kw)
"Sure, I'll get your cat out of that tree." (kw)
"C'mon!!! I'm buying!!" (kw)
"I can't decide between Applebee's, T.G.I. Firday's or Chili's--they all feature excellent cuisine!" (jk)
"That club music can't be loud enough for me! Why can't all bars play this stuff?" (jk)
"I'm really interested in what Paris Hilton is up to." (jk)
"My Mets Season Tickets." (kw)
"Snail Mail." (kw)
"I'm so happy with my job right now." (kw)