Those Wacky Yahoo Headlines!
from August 17, 2004

So you think Leno invented this comedy staple? Please. He merely found a way to turn it into a meal ticket, which is a different kind of genius. But anyway, here's a new comedy feature that may never be repeated: Those Wacky Yahoo Headlines! I love how they try to succinctly sum up an entire article in 7 words or less. They usually fail . . .

Study: Global Warming Could Affect Calif.

Excellent point! If this "warming" is truly "global", there's a good chance that California, as well as other states, MIGHT be affected. Wait, tell me again how much we paid for this study?

Ky. Professor Looks to Set Up Telescope

BREAKING NEWS! Md. Woman Looks to Set Up TiVo!

U.S. Men's Gymnasts Thrilled to Win Silver

No they're not. Trust me. "We've gone through 4 years or more of rigorous training, and it's all paid off! We came in second! Takin' home the sterling, baby! WOO HOO!!! Besides, most of us are allergic to gold, we get these weird skin rashes."

"So you just won silver! What are you going to do now?"
"We're going to the Disney Store!"

First Baseman Mientkiewicz Plays Second

Seriously, if this is news, the New York Mets have been making news like this all year:

Shortstop Reyes Plays Second
Second Baseman Wiggington Plays Third
Shortstop Matsui Plays Shortstop . . . Poorly

AP: Israel Cave Linked to John the Baptist

Quickly, Robin, to the Baptist Cave!