IT'S ABOUT THE FANS (EXCEPT FOR THAT LOCKOUT THING)! Today, they're ratifying the new NHL CBA at 3 PM, and holding the draft lottery at 4 PM. Afterwards, they're having a "NHL: We Love Our Fans" Picnic on Ice at 6:30 PM (hamburgers and cole slaw is $9, and beers are $11 each), the highlight of which is sure to be Goodenow and Bettman pairing up for the potato sack race, followed by an hour long "Hug A Defenseman" photo-op. Okay, I made that last part up. And I know they have to put a positive spin on everything to "get the fans back", but I think most people can see through the thick layer of post-lockout bullshit that they're spreading. After all, if it was really "about the fans", why did they cancel an entire season?
RUDY! RUDY! WAIT, RUDY? Now let me just say that first of all I like the man, and thought he was an absolute rock on during the terrorist attack on the Twin Towers. But just because he was mayor of New York City on 9/11 doesn't suddenly make him an expert on terrorism and mass transit security. In fact, wasn't he out of office long before Homeland Security was in effect, and years before the Madrid bombings raised concerns about security on buses, trains, and subways? Regardless, the glut of MSNBCNN type news channels have no problem interviewing him concerning the London bombings, even though he doesn't really have any real experience with it. Hey, they have to fill the time with SOMETHING besides the blonde teenager missing in Aruba.
WHAT WOULD T.O. DO?
I try to ignore athletes when they open their mouths, but sometimes you just can't avoid it. Sometimes they say interesting things, like Mike Schmidt on Bob Costas' new show, who said that he doesn't learn a damn thing about the game of baseball while listening to announcers like McCarver and Buck (not a surprise, but still funny). Most of the time, they give you nonsense cliches, However, the vast majority of the time, the stuff that spews forth is akin to Terrell Owens' latest bout of verbal diarrhea:
Owens, who wants a renegotiation of his seven-year, $49 million deal, which he signed last year, was asked about his contract conflict with the Eagles and told the Miami Herald, "I don't have to worry about what people think of me, whether they hate me or not. People hated on Jesus. They threw stones at him and tried to kill him, so how can I complain or worry about what people think?
Yeah sure, I see the similarities, Terrell Owens is a lot like Jesus Christ. For instance, while J.C. was betrayed by Judas Iscariot at the Last Supper, T.O. was betrayed by Donovan McNabb in the Last Quarter. While J.C. could miracuously walk on water, T.O. could run on turf with a broken leg. And when you play the DVDs of "Super Bowl XXXIX" and "Passion of the Christ" simultaneously on two separate TVs, Bill Belichek shows up on the screen at the exact same time as Pontius Pilate several times. And don't forget that Jesus, a swift cornerback during his playing days who had great hands, excellent field vision but didn't always finish his tackles, held out before his second season. So what's the big deal? By the way, Terrell, I don't think they just chucked a few stones at J.C., in the aforementioned Gospel According To Mel, and Jesus' Press Kit (The Bible), it says that they actually crucified him. To death. You can't "hate on" someone more than that.
Anyway, since it's now part of the Patriot Act that you must make a prediction at the end of every sports related conversation/article/statement, I (am required to) predict that if the Eagles dump T.O. before this season, they will win the Super Bowl. This is the Word of the Lord.