Wednesday, January 25, 2006

TOP TEN THINGS THAT DIDN'T PISS ME OFF IN 2005

10. Grey Poupon Deli Style Mustard With Horseradish. We all remember the commercials in the 80s, which attempted to give their dijon products a highbrow mystique, only to become the butt of endless "Pardon me" jokes. Well, with this mustard, the Grey Poupon-ers have announced that they are not joking around. This grainy yellow magic in a bottle has a biting horseradish kick gives your tongue a once over, as it gives your palate a bit of a "how's your father?" Honorable mention: Ingelhoffer's Sweet Hot Mustard with Honey has a nice tangy taste, and goes really well with soft pretzels and baked ham.

9. "Extras". Although there are only 6 episodes (making it BBC's longest running series ever!), Ricky Gervais, the creator/writer/star of the original "The Office", serves up another great comedy about a pair of movie extras, one an office worker (Gervais) trying to get a speaking part, and the other a female actress (Ashley Jensen) just trying to get laid. It's your standard British "saying/doing the wrong thing and trying to politely talk your way out of an awkward situation", but it's done with first class panache and humor. And it certainly helps that the actors featured in the episodes, like Patrick Stewart, Ben Stiller and Kate Winslet, willingly take self-effacing shots at themselves in the name of comedy.


8. Brooklyn Beer Party Pack. This is an amazing collection of beers from the best brewery in the state of New York, who have a stable of beers that might even surpass Sam Adams. From top to bottom, this quality 6 x 4 pack is a great way to sample their best concoctions. The Brooklyn Brown Ale is a classic hearty ale that every bar should carry, if they know what's good for them; Brooklyn Winter Ale is a hearty treat, not dominated by the added spices like other winter ales tend to be; few stouts can hold a candle to the roasted malt masterpiece that is the Brooklyn Double Chocolate Stout; finally, the Belgian-inspired unfiltered Brooklyn Monster Ale, only found in this pack, certainly lives up to its name packing a wallop with its 10.2% alcohol content. Viva la Brooklyn!

7. "The 40 Year Old Virgin". Even though it was overlong (which eventually killed "Wedding Crashers", despite its hilarious first hour), this was easily the funniest movie of the year. I laughed when in one of the opening scenes the protagonist's apartment had a "MST3K" movie poster on the wall; this movie had me from the beginning and never failed to amuse me. Being 35 and single, there were way too many dating/friendship/social situations parodied here that I could relate to. It's the rare raunchy AND romantic comedy that manages to hit the nail on the head on both counts, without lowering itself into Rob Schneider toilet humor territory. And on top of that, Steve Carell gives his first "human" performance ever as the likeable lead, and the inclusion of Catherine Keener didn't hurt either.

6. Booker's Single Batch Kentucky Bourbon. Although Basil Hayden's (which should be on the 2004 list) is excellent, it's hard to top this stuff. Although it's 126 proof (!), it goes down incredibly smooth; you want to wait a while for the warmth to seep in before even thinking about chasing it. This spirit will single-handedly get me through another miserable winter.

5. "The Colbert Report". With tongue firmly in cheek, Steven Colbert skewers political opinion shows like "The O'Reilly Factor" on this "Daily Show" spin-off, and does a fantastic job. Whereas his former fake-news show and its host have become a little too whiny and self-important, this show doesn't have an agenda except to deliver top-notch comedy. The low-tech Colbert Nation website is classic as well. Brilliant stuff.

4. The return of NHL hockey. The revamped 2006 version of the sport has turned out to be pretty fun to watch with increased offense, no clutching and grabbing, and the emergence of some exciting young players, like Ovechkin, Lundqvist, Crosby, and Pruchka. The post-OT shootout, initially thought to be just a gimmick to convert non-hockey fans, actually adds some excitement to the end of a tie game. And that cartoonish through-the-legs shootout goal by Malik to win the game for the Rangers after 14 rounds was one of the highlights of the year.

3. Bourbon Street Bar & Restaurant, Nyack, NY. Early in the year, Rob jumped ship from Bruxelles to this establishment when one of their bartenders suggested that he try their food--and he's never looked back. Not only do they have excellent dishes like jambalaya and popcorn crawfish, but they sport the most attractive group of female employees in the area (I must chat with whoever's doing the hiring over there). Add to that their daily 2-for-1 happy hour, which includes the Brooklyn Lager, and you can't miss. It's a totally different place at night when the DJ shows up, but it's hard to beat before 10 PM. (Honorable mention: the closing of Zoo Bar.)

2. Golf. What more can I say? It just keeps getting better. From playing a few rounds in Florida in February, attending the 2005 PGA Tournament at Baltusrol, to the discovery of Berkshire Valley Golf Course, there's very little negative here. I managed to play more golf in one season than ever before (Rob, Karl and I actually played once a month during the middle of the year without even having to say we would). On top of that, the golf season on TV keeps getting longer and longer. This is a trend that I definitely I hope continues into '06. Oh Hensby, you've done it again!
Brandon Claus
1. New kids on the block. After a 7 year hiatus, my sister was back in the baby business this year with the production of Brandon Michael on December 7. Uncle Rob Vertullo also added to his stable of nieces and nephews with the addition of Ava Helen. Scott and Kerry Keenan also got into the act, bringing Sean Michael into the world on December 11. Good show!