Karl started this Eye-Opener timekiller this afternoon:
Currently, there is an admission test that a student must pass in order to get into kindergarten. In your opinion, what should be on the test?
From: Rob
Sent: 04/20/2006 02:07 PM
I think potty training needs to be on there. Also, the child should have to demonstrate some proficiency with small firearms, for public schools at least.
From: karl
Sent: Thursday, April 20, 2006 2:17 PM
I first thought the child should be able to distinguish a corkscrew from a bottle opener, and matches from a lighter.
Now, I think that the child should know that a squared plus b squared equals c squared.
T/F: I think they should be tested to see whether they think there is such thing as the Easter bunny, Santa Claus, and an inexpensive lawyer.
They should be able to construct a well-thought-out essay on what is the most important invention of all time and why.
From: Rob
Sent: 04/20/2006 02:29 PM
Q. Which of these should you kick? (choose all that apply)
a. a soccer ball
b. a stray dog
c. a fire hydrant
d. a $500/day smack habit
From: karl
Sent: Thursday, April 20, 2006 2:40 PM
I want to attend this Kindergarten because: (choose all that may apply)
a. Homeschooling a hippie fraud on the next generation
b. My mom wants to sleep with the gardener
c. I want to be the next JB Hunt
d. I'm under-infected and overmotivated toward learning
e. Otherwise, the lawsuit would be considered frivolous
From: Rob
Sent: Thursday, April 20, 2006 3:01 PM
You are currently $30,000 in debt to the US government - True or False?
from: Jeff K
Sent: 04/20/2006 03:11 PM
Which one of the following is most important to you?
a. Government funding for health care and education
b. Freedom of speech
c. Racial equality
d. "The Wiggles"
From: karl
Sent: Thursday, April 20, 2006 3:16 PM
Which of the following do not belong:
a. vermouth
b. gin
c. olive
d. scotch
From: Jeff K
Sent: 04/20/2006 03:20 PM
How would you describe yourself?
a. "I am an outside-the-sandbox thinker."
b. "I am a proactive potty trainee."
c. "I am in tune with my core nap-time competencies."
d. "I like vanilla!"
From: Jeff K
Sent: 4/20/06, 3:37 PM
What do you feel is the greatest danger to the future of the United States?
a. Obesity
b. Global warming
c. Terrorism
d. Outsourcing
e. The Boogeyman
From: Karl
Sent: Thursday, April 20, 2006 3:26 PM
I would consider myself to be:
a. the luckiest man on the face of the earth
b. likely to win the murder case, but lose the civil suit.
c. unlikely to aspire to the heights of say -a high school guidance counselor.
d. Pretty good at XBOX.
From: karl
Sent: Thursday, April 20, 2006 3:34 PM
These things really existed. True or false:
1. film photography
2. black and white television
3. respected politicians
4. smoking in public buildings and airplanes
5. white NBA players
From: Jeff K
Sne: 04/20/2006 03:51 PM
Which are you most adept at?
a. Singing songs
b. The see-saw
c. Digging
d. Taking orders
From: karl
Sent: Thursday, April 20, 2006 3:55 PM
What's the most valuable item per pound?
a. marijuana
b. diamonds
c. platinum
d. Bill Gates
From: karl
Sent: Thursday, April 20, 2006 4:17 PM
Which of the following is a word:
a. IPOD
b. XBOX
c. IBEX
d. LOL