I have to admit, Jay-Z is nothing if not a smart businessman. Announcing his "comeback" album via a Budweiser commercial? Brilliant! In fact, I think A-B made him change his name to Jayweiser-Zelect. But this "dissing Cristal and switching to Armand de Brignac champagne" thing seemed like a calculated marketing move when I heard about it. As for his "choice of a drunk generation", no one I know has even heard of his new "brand", and it didn't even have a website until--surprise!--the Jayweiser video came out. Kris "The Biggest Sabres Fan In France" Salo says they don't even sell it over there, and it's not even listed on the French Wikipedia site (which a suppose is just a lot of pages about wine, cheese, and fashion). He made a great point: "No one is so small and unknown that no documentation exists on them before some giant star with Billions of Dollars in purchasing power signs with them." Exactly. This whole thing smells bad, like a chunk of Camembert left out in the sun for a week.
It turns out that Armand de Brignac is a dormant brand of champagne by French winemaker Callier, and despite what their distribution company, Sovereign Brands LLC, tells you about its status as a "premium high-end brand in France", it didn't really exist until it was featured in Jayweiser's video. This Business Week article (and the ones that it links to) did some great investigative work to determine that the name hasn't been used by the company in decades, and the company has already its 3 Vodka brand endorsed by a rapper (who is now a partner/owner). No one will admit it, but it would make sense that Mr. Zelect has dumped money into this dead brand and relaunched it, because there's no reason for him to market this stuff otherwise. In other words, it all adds up to a product placement scam: a "new" champagne (or just pretty golden bottles filled with Bud Select) that's being marketed to Americans as the new fashionable hip-hop alcoholic beverage. Basically, if you're stupid enough to buy this stuff for $150 a bottle, or three times that in a nightclub, you are a moron and deserve to go broke.
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Speaking of morons, A-B is trying to pull a fast one on beer buyers in New England and elsewhere. My brother in law bought something called "Stone Mill Pale Ale", touted as an "organic" brew (meaning no pesticides or chemicals are used on the grains). Okay, fine, what does it taste like? It honestly wasn't too bad, with a moderately hoppy bite, but nothing to write home about. The label said: "Brewed by Green Valley Brewery, Merrimack, NH". Well, that's the town they live in, but it's a very small town and the only brewery I know of . . . is A-B. So, sure enough, I looked it up online and it's "an organically certified brewery of Anheuser Busch". So basically, it's just an A-B product in disguise with some made-up name.
This bothers me on several levels. One: they know there's a small segment of the population that won't buy anything that has their name on it, so they put these out there without the A-B name on it anywhere. Two: they are completely capable of making good beer when they feel like it. Three: they can't just make their mass produced rice water beer and leave it at that, they have to try to cut into the microbrew market. Seriously, go fuck yourself, A-B. Leave the bastardization of the microbrew sector to the 12 Greatest Brews of the World.
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The states of Maine and New York are trying to ban the sale of several beers because of their label illustrations. One of them is (pictured at right) Santa's Butt English Porter, and the claim is that the depiction of jolly ol' Saint Nick on its label "might appeal to children". The Maine Civil Liberties Union consider the illustrations "undignified and improper". One of the company's other rejected labels features the topless woman from the famous French painting "Liberty leading the people" (which I saw in the Louvre). That's right, not only are they uptight about art, but the MCLU is against LIBERTY. Shelton Brothers, the importers of these beers and others called "Seriously Bad Elf" and "Winter Warmer Nut Browned Ale", are fighting the ban. If these states are so worried about products that might appeal to childen, what about calling your alcoholic malt beverages "lemonade"? What about banning McDonald's, who sells horrible food to kids using A CLOWN IN ITS COMMERCIALS? What a joke._______________________________________________
Closing on a positive note, we've already established that the best show about drinking on INHD is not Beer Nutz (I can't stand the two hosts). Instead, I hereby bestow that honor to THREE SHEETS. Hosted by comedian Zane Lamprey, this is more like a combination of Dave Attell's much-missed Insomniac and the Travel Channel: while the host gets drunk, you learn about the drinking customs around the world. I've seen the episodes in Costa Rica, Jamaica, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, and Belgium, and they've all been very entertaining. The last country on that list found him visiting Delirium Cafe, which is home to a world-record 2,600 brews (including Delirium Tremens and Nocturnum, both excellent beers). They also showed him a bottle of Westvleteren, but they couldn't drink it or even MENTION THE NAME because of the monks' strict reselling and distribution rules. Very interesting. If he ever needs someone to replace him as host, I volunteer.