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Rob and I had this discussion the other day, and we've come to the conclusion that we're sick of telling complete strangers that we work in the pharmaceutical industry. It's a hot button topic that leads people to involuntarily begin informing us, in great detail: 1) how insidiously evil the drug companies are (unlike the tobacco industry); 2) how expensive drug prescriptions are; 3) what drugs they are currently taking and/or addicted to, followed by a full overview of their (or a family member's) entire medical history, and 4) invariably the comment "Do you get to take drugs home?" It's a horrible conversation small talk purgatory that is impossible to avoid. In the end, there are no winners.
So either we have to change our line of work, or come up with a really good lie (like Art Vandalay, Latex Salesman). This "company" that we work for has to meet certain criteria, which would end the conversation and eliminate follow up questions that would require elaborate answers regarding the "job". The criteria are as follows:
1) It should not be a line of work that anyone can forumlate a positive or negative opinion about;
2) It should not be a company that anyone has heard of, or a product that someone might have a keen interest in;
3) It should not concern a service that anyone needs, or perceives they will ever need;
4) It should be completely self-explanatory;
5) It should be so mundane as to extinguish any curiosity in the company, something a person would not even be remotely interested in talking about.
As you can see, this rules out a lot of jobs: retail, health care, entertainment, construction, insurance, real estate, sales, military, and any service industry (among others). We came up with several possibilities that almost meet all of the criteria, but none were bulletproof conversation killers. We thought about some sort of "actuarial" or "surveying" job, but those would require an explanation. "Banking" jobs are bad, because everyone uses banks, or worse, everyone has gotten screwed by a bank at some point. Rob suggested a company that manufactures tubing (a job he once had), which, although mundane, would probably lead to a lengthy discussion about construction that no one wants to get into. And you can spew forth a bunch of nonsense business words and say that you work for "a consulting company that implements strategic, scalable solutions for real-world business problems", but that's so nebulous and confusing that it can be easily picked apart, forcing you to explain your bullshit.
The best thing we could come up with was working for a company that makes twist ties. That's pretty boring, and something that NO ONE cares about. It's something that you couldn't have a positive or negative opinion of, or need to have explained, because if you did you'd sound like a moron (which doesn't stop most people). You could say something like, "I work in quality assurance for a company who manufactures Twist-Ties. Did you ever buy bread or garbage bags? Well then, you're probably familiar with our work." Where can you go from there? Although it is a product that people are aware of, it's one that they most likely have never thought about. In any case, if you get a follow-up question about what you actually do, just say, "It's a lot of paperwork and phone calls." End of conversation. This leaves you open to discuss something more innocuous like sports, like how "this rivalry isn't as good since they got rid of that big pitcher guy" (actual quote from actual bar patron trying to make small talk). Wait, that might be worse.