After we decided to get 2005 PGA Tournament tickets, Karl decided to make an acronym out of BALTUSROL, the golf course where it is being held. This sparked a flurry of e-mails which, as you can see, slowly turned into a comedy blizzard. Here are the results. Some of them are pretty damn funny.
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From: karl wagner
Sent: Thursday, May 19, 2005 4:19 PM
Beautiful area. Love those undulating sinusoidal rollings of landscape.
"Vertullo, Robert G" wrote:
Barely anyone likes to use silly rearrangements of language
From: karl wagner
Sent: Thursday, May 19, 2005 7:31 PM
Be alert ladies, the universal stud Rob's out looking!!!
"Kammann, Jeff"
Best are ladies that understand something: Rob's often libating.
From: karl wagner
Sent: Thursday, May 19, 2005 10:57 PM
Balls all lost, tallying up scores, Rob's our lowest!
karl wagner wrote:
"Boy, alcohol lately tastes underrated" said Rob out loud!
karl wagner wrote:
"Better alcohol later than understanding sooner" -Rob's old lingo
"Kammann, Jeff" wrote:
Beer, ale, lager (the usual suspects), rum. Oh, liquor!
"Vertullo, Robert G" wrote:
Blue Hill, Augusta, Laurel Vally, Torry Pines, Upper Monclair, St. Andrews, Riviera, Oakmont, Llanerch
From: karl wagner
Sent: Friday, May 20, 2005 10:25 AM
By and large, there's usually some ranking official laughing.
"Vertullo, Robert G" wrote:
Bent-grass aerated lightly, turf underfoot seems rather odd lately
From: karl wagner
Boarding airplane later tonight,- unusual sky- really ominous looking!!
From: karl wagner
Sent: Friday, May 20, 2005 10:20 AM
Before Americans loved television, unkempt stupid Republicans only lost.
Date: Fri, 20 May 2005 10:53:53 -0400
From: "Keenan, Scott"
By all ledgers, Tiger unusually seems really off leaderboard...
From: karl wagner
Bart's atavism lately totally undermines Simpson's rules on life.
"Kammann, Jeff" wrote:
But at least the usual "Simpsons" returns occasional laughter.
Beats anything lame television usually shows (reality or "Lifetime").
Date: Fri, 20 May 2005 11:25:56 -0400
From: karl wagner
"Being alert, listening, typing usual Stimulus/Responses on line"
Date: Fri, 20 May 2005 11:44:29 -0400
From: karl wagner
Begone All Light Trucks, Ultra SUVs (Reserve Oil's lacking)
Date: Fri, 20 May 2005 11:56:52 -0400
From: karl wagner
Bart and Lisa tackle usual situations relying on laughter.
Date: Fri, 20 May 2005 12:06:35 -0400
From: karl wagner
Bought a latte, tasted unlike Starbucks, required Oban liquor.
Date: Fri, 20 May 2005 12:16:39 -0400
From: karl wagner
"Being astute", "living terseness", -usually stuff Rob only likes.
Date: Fri, 20 May 2005 12:22:45 -0400
From: karl wagner
Baathists are likeable. Those unprepared Shiites really ought listen.
Date: Fri, 20 May 2005 12:24:45 -0400
From: "Vertullo, Robert G"
Barring a late travesty, un-soberness remains outstandingly likely.
"Kammann, Jeff" wrote:
Baseball appears likely tonight (unless severe rain or lightning).
Date: Fri, 20 May 2005 13:00:51 -0400
From: karl wagner
By all local traditions, ubiquitous suds ruins ones liver.