I could have sworn I reached for the "I Can't Believe It's Not Steroids!" [kw]
They hated on Jesus, too. [rv]
During lunch with Barry Bonds, I felt a sharp piercing pain in buttock, and just assumed I sat on a pin "unintentionally" left in my Armani suit. [jk]
In the twilight of my career, I decided to focus my career on setting an example for children of the dangers of using performance enhancing drugs by getting 3000 hits, hitting 600 home runs, getting inducted into the Hall of Fame, and getting more 40-year old nookie than any other ballplayer in history… [sk]
Those steroids shrink your twig and berry down to nothing, I HAD to take Viagra. Wait, what am I suspended for? [rv]
I decided at age 40 to become a two-sport star, and was merely "training" for the upcoming NFL season. [jk]
Probably an inadvertent sample switch at the lab. Those autosampling robotics things never maintain sample integrity. That pee could be anybody's. [kw]
I was trying to get steroids out of baseball, one syringeful at a time. [rv]
I was doing "research", like Pete Townshend. [kw]
When Canseco gave me the little blue pill, I obviously thought it was related to Jose's other known pursuit. [ks]
It must have been that medication I took for my Viaggravated Groin. [kw]
Must have been absorbed when I shook hands with all the other players that never took steroids at the congressional hearing. [sk]
I thought that being appointed to the government's "Steroids Task Force" actually meant I was REQUIRED to take them. [jk]
Apparently, one of my teammates is not such a good "clubhouse guy" after all. That's the last time I wear my "GOT PEE?" T-shirt around there! [kw]
As spokesman for "Dianabol-O's!" cereal, I'm required to eat 10 bowls per day. [rv]