SURFSTOPPERS

Kris' Surfstoppers:
Sat 4/24/2004 4:40 AM

I have to say, MTV, MTV2, and MTV9432. This almost falls under porn, but also under the whole cops, "will this guy die" feeling. Usually this exists for music videos ("Holy Sh!t I think I just saw nipple") and shows like Jackass ("How long can he sit in this shopping cart before he falls and the friction from the asphalt stops him dead in his tracks")

Other's (this is non-inclusive list because I just woke up and it's all I can think of now)
- FOX News (I feel so dirty for watching, but I can't always change the channel)
- Infomercials ("No, I can't believe that this one machine can do all of THAT")
- This morning show on the channel M6 here, it's called something like "Everyone gets to talk" or something like that...It's basically 5 thirty year olds that act like they're 15 - it's terrible, but for some reason if I am watching TV at 8:30 in the morning, I can't not watch it for a few minutes.
- Most any Clint Eastwood movie on Basic Cable or Broadcast (there's never any of the good ones, it's always movies like "The Gauntlet" or the one with the monkey where Clint (or the monkey) is a boxer or one of the Dirty Harry movies).

That's it for now, I am sure I will think of more as the day progresses.


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Rob's Surfstoppers:
Mon 4/26/2004 8:44 AM

Unfortunately, sandwitched between some of my favorite channels, Food Network at 231, Fine Living at 232, FX at 247, and Comedy Central at 249, is E! at 236. For some reason I cannot surf past the show where camera wielding psychos chase around 2nd rate actors and actresses. I don't even know the name of it. But I can't think of anything funnier than fat bald guys scrambling like Marines to get a photo of Shannen Doherty getting in/out of a car. Or a half drunk Paris Hilton stumbling around on the sidewalk, or Vince Vaughn spitting on someone. After a few minutes of this, I have to bathe in boiling lysol and gargle with lye, but it gets me every time.


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Kris' additions:
Mon 4/26/2004 9:10 AM

Oh, yeah, How could I forget the E! channel...I'm with Rob on that...Whether it's 13 yr olds wearing nothing but a beer soaked bikini or the aforementioned B-movie actor search, when I'm surfing I can't
miss that channel...

MTV here or maybe it's MTV2 or MTV videos, I don't really know...Anyway, they have this show called Wildboys with one of the Jackasses...It's like a travel show but with a "Jackass attitude" and it's just retarded...This hairy overweigh man and one of the jackasses swam naked with Great White Sharks on the last show I saw (actually the only show)...Unfortunately this show had the distinct advantage of being one of the only programs in english, so I ended up watching it for ~15 minutes and then went looking for refuge in the French History channel...


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Rob's additions:
Mon 4/26/2004 9:33 AM

Oh, you know what else? Every time I see either "Goodfellas" or "Casino" on USA, I have to watch a few minutes. I love the way they cover up the expetives. "Forget you!! No! Forget YOU!!!" Goodfellas was a great movie, but I've seen it enough now that it doesn't have any impact anymore. Casino was never really that great. But they are solid time wasters while you are waiting for The Daily Show to begin. "A Bronx Tale" is almost in this category, but it really isn't on that often.


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Karl's Surfstoppers:
Mon 4/26/2004 9:55 AM

-Any "Forum" show that I accidentally stop on and watch people fighting on.
-Access Hollywood. I explain to Shawna that our tv might be hooked up to a Nielson box and we should not give them ratings.
-Old Seinfelds.
-Cartoon Network, just to see how removed I am from cartoons as a kid.
-MASH, just because.


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My additions:
Monday, April 26, 2004 12:31 PM

Can the Nielsen company hook up your TV to a ratings box without your knowledge of it, like the KGB? Yeah, I stumbled across that paparazzi show on E! recently, I think it's called "Celebrities Uncensored". Hey, it shoots low and it hits. I mean, the plot of this show doesn't get any deeper than "Here's Britney Spears tripping over a curb and showing her butt crack", and people watch it.

The best thing about my current (antiquated) TV viewing set up is that if I don't ever want to watch a particular channel, I just delete it from my channel set up on my VCR/TV--bam, it's gone! So the numbers have been crunched, and I regret to inform you that Telemundo, QVC, Lifetime, Home Shopping Network, Women's Entertainment, Hallmark, Soap Opera Channel, Univision, Shop NBC, PAX, CSPAN (all of them) and E! did not make the cut. Why can't all cable/satellite boxes be like that? I know you can program "favorites" into DirecTV, but why can't you say, "These are the channels I never want to ever stumble upon ever again." Well, maybe you can do that under "parental controls", I'm not sure.

Anyway, I did a lot of surfing yesterday, and since golf was rained out, the NBA and arena football suck, and baseball and hockey no longer hold my interest, I'll have to add a few things to the Surfstopper list:

"Iron Chef". Makes the list only because it's so inherently dumb (the slo-mo instant replays of a sous chef using a blender comes to mind), and the dubbing of Japanese actors is fantastic, that it stops me for a while. The new "Iron Chef America" is a huge letdown, largely because I miss the dubbing. BTW, they couldn't find anyone more prominent to "judge" this "competition" than the actors who play J. Peterman on "Seinfeld", and Gunther from "Friends"? It's like having Paula Abdul tell you whether or not you can sing--oh, never mind! I guess they're going for irony. But really, the whole show is pointless unless you have a bunch of sea urchins and don't know how to prepare them.

"Mythbusters". Doesn't really fit my definition, because it's semi-educational and I don't feel horrible after watching it. By the way, you get wetter when you run in the pouring rain vs. just walking in it. Yes, it's been proven.