* Since players change teams more frequently than I change my oil filter, here's an idea that is long overdue: official team jerseys with Velcro® numbers and letters! This way, you only have to buy ONE jersey of your favorite team, and you can mix n' match numbers and letters to root for whomever happens to stick around long enough to attract your attention. As Jerry Seinfeld said, we're basically rooting for laundry, so why not make that pointless investment last? I'm still kicking myself for buying that $300 authentic Mike Piazza Florida Marlins jersey. I really thought that was going to last.

* Seen in West Haverstraw the other day: a woman in an ankle-length fur coat running into the dollar store. Classic. I didn't look around to see if she had double parked her Lexus to do so.