This witty banter took place without my knowledge, as these two plotted to buy me a new TV for my birthday and, more importantly, tried to find out where to hide my porn. Very funny, guys.
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Karl: Jeff's gonna shit when he sees that new TV....
Scott: Yeah, I already envy him, and I don’t even know what he’s getting. What do say we buy him some brand new porn to watch on his brand new TV? Now that’s the gift that keeps on giving… and receiving…
Karl: But wait, nothing displays the quality of a brand new tv like a black and white movie. Or maybe a Turnervision movie with the color added in later...
Yeah, I guess porn's probably best. Of course, the single guys will never think to get it either. WE better take care of it.
Scott: Yeah, like the color-added version of “It’s a wonderful life”. “Wow, Jeff, your new TV looks… well… did you say this is Hi Def?” As for the porn, it would be really thoughtful if we get him something to HIDE the porn IN. You know, like a “hollow book,” or something inconspicuous – not that I would know – or have one myself… No sir-eee, not me. No way… I’m trying to think of the perfect title for his hollow book. How about “Men are from Jersey, Women are from Havana”?
Karl: This sounds like something for me to work on. All I could come up with immediately was the sacrosanct . . . "The Book of Moremen".
Then I thought about the: "Around the World in 80 Ways".
How about a tribute to Airplane? "Famous Jewish Sports Legends".
A low blow: "Ethiopian Cuisine"?
There really is no end.
How about: "Start the Insanity!!"
Karl: “Gray's Anatomy II”.
Scott: “Catcher in the Rear”.
Karl: “Worn Piece”.
Scott: Sweet!!!
Karl: The other way to store porn is using an acronym:
For example, the books could be labeled:
(PORN) People Of Ruined Nations
(FILTH) Foundations In Living Thru Heartache
(SMUT) Southeast Mexico Undertaking Techniques
Scott: “Brittle Women”.
Karl: Nice. I'd like to see that on High Cleft Television.